When I was pregnant, more than a year ago, a friend from the gym asked me how many times I go to the gym. Very relaxed I answered "5 days a week." His response was "Oh my, you are addicted to exercise!" Back then I didn't give it another thought. I love the benefits that a good workout gives me.
Isn't this [the work out] a healthy lifestyle? Everywhere you look you see people jogging, biking or playing sports. The kids are sent not to play just one sport but to play several sports. Exercise is so widely promoted these days that you never think that you will get addicted to it. Yet, like everything else, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.
Anyway I still go to the gym 5 days a week. Recently, another friend of mine told me that she is so into the gym now that she thinks that she might be addicted. I know that she was joking and isn't really worried about addiction. But this made me think and question myself "Am I addicted to exercise?"
What are the symptoms of exercise addiction? I found a website http://www.brainphysics.com/exercise-addiction.phpthat identified the seven signs of exercise addiction. I think two that are overlooked are: exercising when sick or injured and exercising to the point of pain and beyond.
The other day I hurt my back and was debating whether I should go to the gym or stay home and take care of my back. I went back and forth for a while but in the end I decided to stay home.
According to the website I am not addicted because I didn't go and exercise when I was injured. Have I exercised to the point of pain and beyond? Tricky question because when you exercise you often feel some pain.
Now I can honestly say that I am not addicted to exercise and it is a relieve knowing that.
Everywhere I have worked I have learned a few things from my superiors.
For the last year and half I have been volunteering at the Hospital. When I first started to work with my coordinator I noticed that she thanked me for everything I did. In the beginning I responded by telling her "come on I'm just doing my job." And I never just said "you're welcome." I was a little embarrassed that she kept thanking me for every little thing and I did not know how to react. Today I know her pretty well and every time she thanks me there is a smile on my face and, of course, I answer her with a simple and sincere "you're welcome."
It is not a general rule but I notice that here in the U.S. people are more likely to say "thank you" than in my country. For example I love that here when people step off of the bus they say "thank you" and wish the driver a "good day." I've started doing it too, and I truly thank him for driving me safely to my destination. I never once thanked a bus driver in Romania, and I never heard anyone else say it either.
Another thing that we do here in the US which we don't do in Romania is send "thank you" cards. And we send "thank you" cards for all kinds of reasons. I remember that I got a welcome gift when I arrived in the U.S., and I had to write a thank you card to that person. I wasn't sure what to say. I had to write something a little personal and I wasn't used to that. Even today it takes me a while to figure out a short and a concise way to express my feelings in a note.
I don't want to make it sound like Romanian people don't know how or when to say thank you. They do. But just not in these types of situations and certainly not so often.
You might think that saying "thank you" is so banal but makes such a big difference for both those who say it and those who receive it.
When will the United States realize that people are the same no matter their color, their gender or their sexual preferences? People need time to get used to and accept new situations. For many years, Americans did not accept African-Americans as equals. Today they are treated equally; they go to the same schools and get a good education like everyone else. They also get good paying jobs. Today the United States has an African – American president. Unfortunately, for some people this is still unacceptable. I admit that black people still are not 100% accepted. The same situation is true in a gay person’s world. Even though the majority of people accept them and treat them as equals, there are others people who consider their lifestyle to be morally wrong. It is interesting that homosexuals are treated normal in many situations such as: schools, sports activities, the workplace and society, yet they are not accepted in other fields like in the military. These days there is a controversy whether gay people should serve in the military. People who are against it believe that having gay people mix with straight people in the military will create a lot of discomfort and will lead to violence among soldiers. Some people may believe this is true, yet I disagree. We must treat people as equals so others accept them as equals.
In 1993, then president Bill Clinton introduced a new policy called “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” which is still in effect. This policy allow gays to serve in the military with one condition: They had to hide their personal sexual orientation. Nobody from the military can ask soldiers what their sexual preference is, and they can not tell either. But if someone suspects a soldier is gay, that person has to tell the superior and after an investigation, the “gay” soldier will be dismissed from the army. Under this policy, gay soldiers have to lie about their private lives.
The United States is fighting in two wars. That means that the country needs lots of volunteers well trained to serve in the military. Unfortunately "In the 15 years since the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy was enacted, 12,600 service members have been dismissed…" ("Gays in the Military…"). This represents an important number for a country which is fighting in one war, let alone two. If we look at the military costs we will see that dismissing homosexuals costs the country another big loss: "The cost to the Defense Department: $191 million to recruit and train replacements" ("Let Gay Soldiers…"). The truth is that homosexuals have always served in the military. Decades ago many did not accept that lifestyle, but today, surveys demonstrate that almost 80% of Americans agree with letting homosexuals openly serve in the military. Thus, the country needs now more than ever lots of volunteers in the military. Why to loose so many of them because of their sexual orientation? Is this a good reason?
Another reason to stop punishing soldiers because of their sexual preference is because the U.S. is a leader in protecting human rights and promoting free speech. It is a country where everybody has equal rights and where discrimination is punished. Why the U.S. is not leading in the military gay issue? Is it because of the culture? Obviously, having gay openly serve is not a problem for others country. Today there are 28 countries which allow homosexuals to openly serve. A leader in the Royal Air Force from London stood in front of his team and told them that he is homosexual. Surprisingly, there weren't any odd reactions: "Far from causing problems, he said, he found that coming out to his troops actually increased the unit's strength and cohesion" (Lyall). An openly gay officer from British Army talked about a discussion he had with an American staff sergeant who complained to him, privately, that he "had a whole part of his private life that he had to keep separate and … couldn't discuss with people" (Lyall). Therefore, it is possible to be a gay soldier and openly serve your country.
Some people argue that allowing homosexuals to openly serve in the military will increase the opportunity for violence, sexual harassment, abuse and rape among the soldiers. However, I strongly believe that trying to hide it will make these situations happen more easily. Many female soldiers have reported that they are under investigation for being lesbians after they refused a male's advances. This accusation has become very common in the military. Some of the women, lesbians or not, accept dating male colleagues just to not be called lesbians. "Approximately one in three women in the military has been raped ... and around 90% have been subjected to sexual harassment" ("Women and …"). Thus, being open about your sexual preference will make soldiers' life much easier and they will get to focus more on the fight, than how to hide their private lives.
To summarize, soldiers serve their country because they believe in freedom and democracy. As a response, the country should give them their freedom and rights. Somebody said "Roma wasn't built in a day" and it is true. But how many decades have to go by before we accept people the way they are? If people are allowed to be themselves, then everybody will win.
When will the United States realize that more people die from bad nutrition than are murdered? A difficult problem that is facing American society in these days is obesity. The awful reality shows that America is the unhealthiest place in the world. Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services, admits that it is a huge "health crisis"("M. Obama aims to end the..."). Adults and children have health problems caused by obesity. If, for example, we look at one American family we will be surprised to see that one child who is 12 years old weighs almost 352 lbs and her younger sibling (4 years old) is already obese before starting school. These extra pounds put kids like this at a big risk for diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. We may agree that nobody forces adults to choose unhealthy foods. But I noticed that American people don't know too much about food. Even though many think that obesity is a matter of personal responsibility, the government can prevent and lead the national fight against obesity.
Government is a powerful institution; it has the resources and ability to influence laws and rules. In this case, the government has the power to regulate the fast food industry and the restaurants. Today fast foods, big brands, supermarkets produce and sell highly processed food. Government should provide supermarkets with food ambassadors who teach the American people how to shop and also show them how to cook. People don't know what they are eating. The labels are false; they show low fat on a product, but that product is full of sugar. But if the stores have a knowledgeable person in nutrition who is there to help us, consumers will eventually learn what the labels are saying and how to cook healthy meals in a short time. Another way that government is fighting obesity is the new health care bill that the president signed in March. This bill will make all the restaurants and fast foods to count their calories and show them on the menus or on boards. This will make it impossible for thousands of restaurants to hide the reality and more difficult for consumers to ignore it. "New York was the first in the country to put the calorie posting law in place," Mary Clare Jalonick, the author of the article "US law to make calorie counts hard to ignore" said and continued "since then, California, Seattle and other places have done so" ("US law to make..."). The government can work with all the restaurant industry and make them more transparent with their products.
Let's not forget about the government's role in educating children about nutrition. The purpose of schools is to teach. Unfortunately, these days, the school system is totally wrong. Children don't get knives and forks when they eat because it is too dangerous, even though they use scissors in the class. That automatically endorses having fast food "on the go." Government has to launch different programs for kids, like classes on nutrition and physical education. One of these programs supported by the government is "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" lead by a British celebrity chef who went to Huntington, West Virginia. His goal is to help people eat better. I was surprised to see Jamie Oliver surrounded by kindergarten children who didn't know the name of the vegetables. He said, "If the kids don't know what stuff is, than will never eat it" ("Teach every child about food").
First Lady Michelle Obama started a new revolution which aims to end childhood obesity. The purpose of her campaign "Let's Move," she said, is "to help parents deal with a national health crisis" ("M. Obama aims to end the..."). This program has four main key points: to improve parents' information, quality of food in schools, access and affordability of good food and physical education.
The First Lady came out and told the people that she understands, as her pediatrician once told her that her daughters had a weight fluctuation which is not good for them. She was surprised because she thought, like many other parents, that her children were eating reasonably. This approach is very helpful for American parents to not feel guilty because they are not aware of nutrition. She didn't stop there. She took action and started building a vegetable garden right behind White House. Children from different schools came there to help take care of the garden. It also made them work in the garden which involves exercise, one of her goal to take them out from isolation. I consider it a smart way to teach kids about growing and eating fresh vegetables.
Some people may believe that everybody is personally responsible for what they choose to eat. I know that American people are very strong in asking for the right to choose what they want. I learned that since I moved here in the U.S. While I agree that choice is important, if people do not have the knowledge to make the right choice how can these people be left to decide for themselves what to put in their mouth? For example french fries are considered a healthy vegetable by adults. This is our reality and we have to accept it and stop blaming industry and let the government help us through all these programs and new laws. People need the nutritional knowledge in order to make free choices.
To summarize, the government has a lot of work to do in changing American's views about processed food. "Many companies are on board with improving school food," Obama said ("M. Obama aims to end the..."). It is a good beginning. There are some plans that need approval in Congress because they require new funding. Like Jamie Oliver said, "If America does it, other countries will follow" ("Teach every child about food").
Jason Lee Miller, in his blog "Yahoo Says Americans Work Too Much," points out that statistics demonstrate that Americans work way too much.
Looking at numbers and percentages I have to agree with Jason. But from my experiences with some American people I will say that it is not quite true. They go to work late in the morning and come home after 8 – 9 hours. They don't seem to stress too much about their job. This is not too bad. It is interesting that when I first came to the United States I noticed that American people are more relaxed than European people. It seems that they go to work knowing what they have to do without anybody watching over their shoulder. They also have the option to go out to lunch. On the other hand some of Romanian companies are not allowed their employees to leave the factory at the lunch time. Isn't this a good example? I was there and I know how I felt.
In my opinion, we work because we have to, not because we want to. We have lots of expenses such as the mortgage, school, car, clothes, food, and health care. These are things that we can't live without. If we have money without having to work we look for activities that we enjoy doing rather than looking for work.
Are we working too hard as Jason remarked in a survey done by Yahoo HotJobs? Maybe we do work too hard mostly because the new era of communication makes it possible to keep us connected to work tasks even when we are at home. I strongly support that people should set their own limits between work and personal life.
Miller, Lee Jason. Yahoo Says Americans Work Too Much. Jason Lee Miller, 2007. Web.
OMG! I am shocked. I just discovered that I have more than a few grey hairs.
I still can't believe it. I keep looking in the big mirror and try to understand why right now and why me. I know that it is normal but I am scared to see myself with grey hair. I don't feel old at all and I always thought that only old people get grey hair. Old people like my grandparents, not young people like me. I don't want to have grey hair so young.
I never paid attention to these details and so I didn't notice that my parents were becoming grey too. My mother may have blond hair, but she colors it so it is hard to really notice the grey. My father's hair turned grey a few years ago but I didn't really notice it.
Now I have something else to be concerned about. What is the reason for my grey hair- am I aging or are there other causes?! Maybe my new country isn't so good for me. That is hard to believe! I read that being stressed and worried can make your hair gray. Even though there is no evidence to support this idea, I honestly believe that I am not stressed or worried.
I am scared thinking that one day my grey hair will be more visible. The change is inevitable. I don't know how to deal with this and to accept this way of aging. For some it is a beginning of the end, others accept it as a sign of wisdom.
I can explain and even found a nice reason for my wrinkles. They are my "happy wrinkles" because I am a happy person and I smile and laugh a lot. For my hair turning grey I have to find some other nice explanation. . .
The winter came like never before. It was the first major snowstorm since I moved to Washington DC a year ago. It reminded me of my childhood winters when there was a lot of snow and schools were closed.
Here it started to snow one afternoon and continued throughout next day. It was so beautiful when I woke up as I looked out my bedroom window. I was jumping around, happy like a child. It was a brief period of happiness because I soon realized that we did not have power in the house. Everything needs electricity in our house: the stove, heat and hot water. With a cold house and without a warm breakfast I still enjoyed the snow. I went out by myself because my hubby is from California, and is not so fond of the snow. It was so quiet and so white. The snow came up to my knees. The branches of the trees were bent over from the heavy snow and the cars were buried. There were not a path to walk any more.
When I went back in the house, which was like an igloo by then, I found J wearing his winter jacket and gloves sitting under a blanket waiting for electricity to come on. What can you do to have fun in this kind of situation? Not too much! It was too cold in the house to play scrabble or other games. There were more things to do outside. So we went for a walk with our friends and their dog around the neighborhood. I was surprised to see people cross-country skiing through the streets. And it wasn't just a few people, there were lots of people doing this kind of work out. It was very interesting and seemed like a cool thing to do when you are stuck in the snow and the gym is closed.
We started to get hungry, and could not cook yet so we walked down to the neighborhood hang out praying that the restaurants had power and were open. Luckily, half of them were. We enjoyed a nice, warm late lunch and some margaritas. When we got back home the power was back on..........
Because of this storm the federal government shut down for 4 days, the schools were closed as were many offices. DC hibernated for a wile.
Just two days after this first storm finished, we are now expecting a second one. There will definitely be mountains of snow for a while.
Vine Craciunul! E perioada cadourilor si a impodobirii. E vanzoleala si agitatie mare peste tot.
Eu, asa cum imi e stilul, incep sa cumpar cadouri mult inainte de luna decembrie. Nu ma lasa sufletul sa dau toti banutii [multi] deodata, intr-o singura zi. Asa ca din punctul cadourilor de vedere totul e aranjat in luna decembrie. Mai raman, eventual, cateva lucruri ce stiu ca vor fi la mari reduceri cu apropierea Craciunului.
In Decembrie imi ramane doar sa cumpar bradul. Si stresul nu e atat de mare ca in Timi, unde greu gaseai bradut care sa fie la un pret acceptabil si sa aibe ceva mai multe crengi. Am fost surprinsa sa constat ca aici nu exista brazi golasi. Toti sunt frumosi si plini plini de crengi. Mai mare dragul sa treci printre ei si sa alegi unul. Preturile difera in functie de soi si de inaltimea bradului, nicidecum de cate crengi are.
Asa ca, cumparatul bradului nu e mare lucru. Mai mare mi-a fost surprinderea cand a trebuit sa caut suport de brad. Stiam ce-mi trebuie: sa fie din metal si sa aibe trei picioare. Pornesc prin magazine la cautat suport. Nu vad nici un suport de genul celui de acasa din Timisoara. Suportul brazilor care erau in magazine erau acoperiti cu ceva material. Ma uit sub material si vad un soprt mare de plastic, cu o forma ciudata. Intr-un final renunt sa caut, ganadindu-ma ca nu caut in magazinele care trebuie.
Acasa imi intreb sotul unde ar trebui sa caut suport de brad. El, ridica din umeri. In viata lui nu a sarbatorit Craciunul. Stia ca ne trebuie suport si ca trebuie sa ma uit si dupa ceva fustita pentru brad.
-Fustita?? E acelasi sens ca si fusta pe care o imbraci??
-Da!
-Fusta la brad?
-Da. Iar bradul trebuie udat ca sa nu se usuce asa repede.
-Udat? Unde sa-l ud? Cum vine asta?
Deja lucrurile incepusera sa se complice. Nu mi-am putut imagina unde vine pusa fust si de ce ii trebuie bradului fustita. Cum sa ud bradul cu suportul pe care eu il aveam in minte?
In fine! In final o sun pe D. care e romanca de mult stabilita in US si o intreb ce imi trebuie pentru brad si unde sa caut. A inceput sa rada cand mi-a auzit intrebarile, dar mi-a inteles nestiinta. Mi-a explicat ca sunt mici sanse sa gasesc suport cu trei picioare. Aici suporturile sunt mari, rotunde si din plastic. Tulpina bradului intra intr-o "oala", loc unde pui apa. Si da, imi trebuie o fustita ce vine pusa in jurul acelui suport. Mi-a spus si unde sa le caut.
Pornesc la cautat suport. Gasesc.....mari si urate mai sunt. Nu ma mir de ce imi trebuie fustita. Fusta acopera acel suport si da o imagine placuta bradului.
Am cumparat suportul si fustia (e rosie ca focul sa-mi surada norocul).
Sunt super multumita de cum arata bradul meu [american] ;)
S-a dus toamna. Stiu, o sa ziceti ca frigul a venit de ceva vreme, iar decembrie e deja la mijloc, ba chiar pe terminate. De acord cu voi.
Daca m-am mutat la casa, am parte de spatii verzi, copaci multi si batrani si deci multe frunze uscate in perioada toamnei. Personal am avut ceva munca cu frunzele astea in curte. Acum le maturam, pana seara erau la loc.
Deci, cum nu poti tine pasul cu caderea frunzelor, pana mai ieri inca mai calcam pe frunze uscate. Nu ma plang pentru ca de cateva ori au venit niste omuleti care au suflat frunzele de pe spatiile verzi din fata caselor si le-au dus nu stiu unde.
Ei, dar azi, am fost intampinata de un munte urias de frunze ce asteptau cuminti sa fie "supte" de o masina nu foarte mare si duse departeee. Uitandu-ma in jur nu am mai vazut nici pic de frunza. Totul e la locul lui, doar ca frunzele uscate nu mai sunt nici in copaci nici pe jos.
Si pentru ca tot vorbesc de intretinere, acum cateva zile au venit altii care au taiat crengile copacilor ce atingeau acoperisul caselor. Eu m-am bucurat, dar cred ca veveritele nu au fost la fel de incantate ca mine.
Suntem gata sa asteptam iarna cu a ei zapada.
Si cand zic gata, inseamna ca toata lumea e pregatita la propriu. Americanii astia sunt foarte prevazatori. Cum s-a anuntat ca e posibil sa ninga sau ca vine inghetul, cei responsabili au si aruncat cu sare pe trotuare, la intrarea in magazine, in statiile de autobuz.... ce mai, peste tot. Si ce daca nu ninge si deci nu zapada, nu ghetus? Dar avem sare peste care pasim si poate ne mai sucim si glezna calcand pe bulgarasii de sare.
Totul e luat in serios - s-a contractat o firma care sa ne curete cararile si parcarile de zapada. Totul e planificat din timp. Nu lasam sa ne ia iarna prin surprindere............de parca iarna te poate lua prin surprindere!:)))
I recently moved from an apartment in the city to a townhouse in the suburbs. I wouldn't exactly call where I moved a village in the US but to me it seems like a "modern" village in Romania. It is a big change for a girl who lived all her life in a city and in an apartment building.
During communist rule in my country all the buildings were grey and looked exactly alike. After the revolution people felt the need to distinguish themselves from one another. So they began to do little things to their apartments like changing the types of windows and doors or the color of the trim.
But the biggest changes appeared in the new "modern" villages close to the city where people would build their own homes. There you see houses next to one another but with roofs and walls painted in different colors: one house may have a red roof with yellow walls next to another house with a blue roof and white walls. And you will never see a house with the same design and shape as the one next door. The houses now are also very big, something that we did not have under communist rule. After so many years looking alike, the goal now is to be unique and different.
So when you go to a suburb in Romania you will be shocked by the mix of design. I always saw this as normal, but when we were living in Romania my American hubby always used to tell me how ugly it looked. I didn't agree with him then, thinking that it looked nice to see people free to design their home in any way they pleased.
And I still do not agree with him. I like where I live now but in my new suburb everything looks the same. I mean everything is the same!! Red brick walls, gray roofs, white windows, white pillars, all the same height, and with the same type of landscape. Wherever you look you see the same picture. I'm not questioning whether it is nice or not- I have a more practical concern.
One day I came home on a different bus and I ended up in a different part of the neighborhood. I thought I recognized where I was and I knew I was pretty close to my home. There are street signs so I thought I could figure it out...no big deal. The streets are curvy and intersect so, to my surprise the streets signs didn't clearly show me what street I was on. I stood in the middle of the street and looked in all directions thinking I would see a landmark. What I saw instead were lots and lots of houses that looked just like mine. I started to feel frustrated and confused. Are you kidding me?! I was thinking "How silly is it that I can get lost in the middle of my own neighborhood". I picked a direction and started to walk, looking for any little thing I recognized. But everything looked the same so I didn't get to my house. There was no one on the streets to ask. So I turned around, hoping to see a person who could help me. I was back in the same spot, without seeing anybody and was getting disparate about the situation. I couldn't believe this. Finally someone walked by and I asked him where is my street. He laughed and told me that people always get confused here. That sure made me feel better. I didn't seem so stupid! A few minutes later I finally found my house.
I am still a little worried each time I leave my house that I might not return.
What are some of my experiences during my time volunteering at Hospital?
When visitors first come to the Hospital, they must check in at the front desk. I greet them and ask them why they are here. Usually they are here to visit a patient. So I look up the patient's name in the computer and tell them the room number. They then have to sign in, show me their ID card and then I give them a wristband.
Seems simple enough, yet you cannot imagine the difficulties this often presents. Some of them refuse to wear the wristband. Others don't have any picture ID. Others make a signature instead of reading the instructions and simply writing their name legibly. Some mumble complaining about the procedures and then say "why it is so hard to get into the Hospital?". So I really have to be prepared to patiently answer to all these questions or complaints .
But I can never prepare myself for the most difficult situations: those who come to visit their child in the ICU or ER. The first thing I notice is the trembling in their hands when they sign in. I feel such pity for them and wish there was something I could do to help them.
I don't know the details, but I can see the fear in their face. The only thing I can do for them is offer a little comfort as I hold their hand in mine for a few seconds. I then see a little smile and a "thank you" in their eyes.
These moments are so emotional for me. Each time I thank God that my family and I are all healthy.
I started volunteering at Hospital in April of this year. I asked to work in the psychiatric unit with the idea that I could use my education, and with the hope that I would learn more about the differences between a psychiatrist's approach and a therapist's approach to treatment.
The patients were admitted for just 3 to 7 days. Rarely did some stay more than a week. Usually though some would return after a week or so. Each patient has their own room, which is nice. But there is little interaction. They have breakfast, and then, if they want to they may participate in some group discussions. The rest of their day includes lunch, the doctor visits them and the nurses give them their medication.
At first, I didn't have much to do. I worked there mid morning until mid afternoon. I hardly ever saw any "crazy" behavior. I heard that sometimes patient behaviors were worse during the evenings.
But I was there to help and so I asked myself "What can I do to help the nurses and to help myself too?" A month had gone by and I was feeling frustrated because I felt like I was waisting my time. And even though I was volunteering that didn't mean that my time wasn't valuable. To find an excuse I started thinking that maybe "volunteering" means that you do nothing. Could this be true??
I tried to be patient, and give myself a little more time to become acquainted with the hospital. But nothing changed. I continued to walk around the unit, went up and down the elevator bringing the patients their belongings from security and did little things here and there for the nurses. Ok, I was helping the nurses a bit, but I wasn't getting back anything for me.
After a few months of volunteering at the psychiatric unit I "sang out" to the volunteer coordinator and requested something more stimulating. She sent me to an administrative department where I stapled papers for 4 hours. And then she had me pack up someone's stuff in boxes. Are you kidding me!!!
Now I told myself that volunteering [there] means to do what the others don't want to do.
But I was not willing to accept that. So upset and disappointed I "sang out" again to the coordinator. Finally she gave me some administrative things to do where I was stimulated, such as dealing with personnel files, making phone calls and organizing appointments. And a few hours a day I also work at the front desk where I interact with lots of different people.
I can honestly say that now I look forward to going to volunteer at the Hospital.
Looking and looking and looking for a job. This is a full time job! Job searching is new each day, but it becomes boring. Worse though is the accumulating frustration.
It's been a year since I began my job search. Some days I am filled with hope, other days I am just applying routinely. Overall though I remain optimistic and I know that my job is out there waiting for me.
The other day, I had a phone interview with a recruiter, and he asked me about my skills for the particular job. At the end of our conversation, he told me to call him when I get more experience in the US. I was angry and I was not prepared to let that go. I told him that the particular job was not one which would be difficult for me. Heck, it was just a position as an HR assistant. I do not need experience in the US to do this job. I told the guy that I am a quick learner. I told him that even when you change companies you need a little time just to learn the new company rules. It was as if I was talking to myself. All he did was repeat the idea again that I should call him back when something in my resume changes.
I felt frustration and anger. And I am still angry. But is it with him or with me? How can I get [american] experience if that is what everyone is telling I need in order to be hired here?
Also, I really don't like the feeling I get when someone asks me "where do you work?". I feel ashamed when I tell them I am a housewife. Here it may be ok to be a housewife, but it is not something I am used to saying nor is it something I am accustomed to doing. Though now I seem to have become one, and, in all honesty, it isn't so bad.
A quick trip to NYC and I came back with so many impressions:
*beautiful?
*crowded
*really tall buildings
*narrow streets
*alive
*noisy
*neon lights
*Broadway
*the shops
After just 4 hours by train, I walked up the stairs and I found myself surrounded - by lots of people and huge buildings.
Can you imagine that in such a big city people wait in line for taxi - that is civilization.
I got into one of the thousands of yellow cabs (why are they all yellow?) and to my surprise despite the civility, the driver's seat was surrounded by thick bullet-proof glass. I was a little scared - does this mean that the city is dangerous?
Driving there looks crazy. Too many cars on very narrow streets surrounded by lots (and I mean lots) of pedestrians.
The hotel had a gigantic lobby but the rooms were tiny. I heard this is normal for NYC.
Walking on the streets made me feel like I was walking through a tunnel. The streets are lined with huge buildings so that you barely see the sky.
8.3 million on 790 square meters. Crowded in the morning, crowded in the afternoon, crowded at night.
The stores are always open!!! You can shop around the clock. :) Everything seemed BIG! Small candy M&Ms have their own 3 level store in the middle of Times Square. Can you imagine? All different colored candies, and then towels, jewelry, dishes, ornaments, bags, clothes....You name it, they have it, with "M&M" on it. M&Ms are my favorite candies.
I escaped from the tunnel with a walk through Central Park. I only saw a small part of it :( But what I saw was incredible. Lots of ponds, fountains, woodlands, baseball fields, playgrounds and acres of lawns.
A visit to NYC isn't complete without seeing a play on Broadway. So I retreated into the Gershwin Theater where I let myself fly to the land of Oz through the music, costumes and scenery of "Wicked".
Everyone told me to visit NYC because it is so so beautiful. Was it really beautiful? Hmm, maybe, but it is definitely a unique place.
What are the cultural differences between Romania and the US? Everybody always asks me that question and to answer it, I really have to look at some things that have been hard for me to get used to...
One thing that sticks out in my mind is the way in which Romanians often accept "NO" as an answer without objection. They will not "sing out" in public, either for fear of the confrontation or the fear of bringing attention to themselves. They may complain to friends and family, but only after the fact and without achieving a resolution. The fact is that we are afraid to "sing out" for our rights and needs. Unfortunately, it seems like our cultural norm is to be quiet and powerless.
But now I live in a country where people are very aware of their rights and are not afraid to demand them.
I remember when I first moved here my mother-in-law went to the store to return a jar of pickles, because they tasted bad. I followed her, quite curious to see how this "scene" would take place. I imagined that there would be argument and lots of yelling. So I stood a little behind embarrassed at the potential confrontation. But NO! The "event" went quite smoothly. She told the cashier that the pickles were bad and she wanted another jar. She got a simple "OK" and that was it. We left the store with a new jar of pickles in hand. I didn't know what to think...
But recently I bought a pair of shoes. After more than a month (the period of time to return them as stated on receipt) they started to tear apart. I was sad because they were nice shoes and I knew that I couldn't take them back. But my American husband suggested that I go to the store, tell them what happened and ask how they can help me. I laughed at his suggestion because the return period had expired and I thought the store manager would send me home the way I came.
Anyway, I decided to try my luck and go to the store, though I was a little bit nervous about the potential conversation between the manager and me. Before I left I prepared myself for a confrontation with a "negative" manager. I practiced my speech, prepared myself to be calm yet ready to "sing out" for my rights in an assertive way....
So off I went to the store, and asked to speak with the manager. I told her my story, and before I could even finish, she offered me a store credit or a new pair of shoes. At first I didn't quite understand her because I was focused on my arguments. I asked her to repeat herself, just to be sure that I heard her correctly. I left the store more relaxed, and with a new pair of shoes. And also with the realization that no one will "attack" me for "singing out" for my rights.
Though I have learned from my mother-in-law the art of demanding one's rights as a customer, and I am learning to not be afraid of doing so, I still feel a little nervous "singing out". Why? because I grew up in a society where we did not "sing out".
