Looking

Looking and looking and looking for a job. This is a full time job! Job searching is new each day, but it becomes boring. Worse though is the accumulating frustration.

It's been a year since I began my job search. Some days I am filled with hope, other days I am just applying routinely. Overall though I remain optimistic and I know that my job is out there waiting for me.

The other day, I had a phone interview with a recruiter, and he asked me about my skills for the particular job. At the end of our conversation, he told me to call him when I get more experience in the US. I was angry and I was not prepared to let that go. I told him that the particular job was not one which would be difficult for me. Heck, it was just a position as an HR assistant. I do not need experience in the US to do this job. I told the guy that I am a quick learner. I told him that even when you change companies you need a little time just to learn the new company rules. It was as if I was talking to myself. All he did was repeat the idea again that I should call him back when something in my resume changes.

I felt frustration and anger. And I am still angry. But is it with him or with me? How can I get [american] experience if that is what everyone is telling I need in order to be hired here?

Also, I really don't like the feeling I get when someone asks me "where do you work?". I feel ashamed when I tell them I am a housewife. Here it may be ok to be a housewife, but it is not something I am used to saying nor is it something I am accustomed to doing. Though now I seem to have become one, and, in all honesty, it isn't so bad.

Surrounded

A quick trip to NYC and I came back with so many impressions:

*beautiful?

*crowded

*really tall buildings

*narrow streets

*alive

*noisy

*neon lights

*Broadway

*the shops

After just 4 hours by train, I walked up the stairs and I found myself surrounded - by lots of people and huge buildings.

Can you imagine that in such a big city people wait in line for taxi - that is civilization.

I got into one of the thousands of yellow cabs (why are they all yellow?) and to my surprise despite the civility, the driver's seat was surrounded by thick bullet-proof glass. I was a little scared - does this mean that the city is dangerous?

Driving there looks crazy. Too many cars on very narrow streets surrounded by lots (and I mean lots) of pedestrians.

The hotel had a gigantic lobby but the rooms were tiny. I heard this is normal for NYC.

Walking on the streets made me feel like I was walking through a tunnel. The streets are lined with huge buildings so that you barely see the sky.

8.3 million on 790 square meters. Crowded in the morning, crowded in the afternoon, crowded at night.

The stores are always open!!! You can shop around the clock. :) Everything seemed BIG! Small candy M&Ms have their own 3 level store in the middle of Times Square. Can you imagine? All different colored candies, and then towels, jewelry, dishes, ornaments, bags, clothes....You name it, they have it, with "M&M" on it. M&Ms are my favorite candies.

I escaped from the tunnel with a walk through Central Park. I only saw a small part of it :( But what I saw was incredible. Lots of ponds, fountains, woodlands, baseball fields, playgrounds and acres of lawns.

A visit to NYC isn't complete without seeing a play on Broadway. So I retreated into the Gershwin Theater where I let myself fly to the land of Oz through the music, costumes and scenery of "Wicked".

Everyone told me to visit NYC because it is so so beautiful. Was it really beautiful? Hmm, maybe, but it is definitely a unique place.

If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out (Cat Stevens)

What are the cultural differences between Romania and the US? Everybody always asks me that question and to answer it, I really have to look at some things that have been hard for me to get used to...

One thing that sticks out in my mind is the way in which Romanians often accept "NO" as an answer without objection. They will not "sing out" in public, either for fear of the confrontation or the fear of bringing attention to themselves. They may complain to friends and family, but only after the fact and without achieving a resolution. The fact is that we are afraid to "sing out" for our rights and needs. Unfortunately, it seems like our cultural norm is to be quiet and powerless.

But now I live in a country where people are very aware of their rights and are not afraid to demand them.

I remember when I first moved here my mother-in-law went to the store to return a jar of pickles, because they tasted bad. I followed her, quite curious to see how this "scene" would take place. I imagined that there would be argument and lots of yelling. So I stood a little behind embarrassed at the potential confrontation. But NO! The "event" went quite smoothly. She told the cashier that the pickles were bad and she wanted another jar. She got a simple "OK" and that was it. We left the store with a new jar of pickles in hand. I didn't know what to think...

But recently I bought a pair of shoes. After more than a month (the period of time to return them as stated on receipt) they started to tear apart. I was sad because they were nice shoes and I knew that I couldn't take them back. But my American husband suggested that I go to the store, tell them what happened and ask how they can help me. I laughed at his suggestion because the return period had expired and I thought the store manager would send me home the way I came.

Anyway, I decided to try my luck and go to the store, though I was a little bit nervous about the potential conversation between the manager and me. Before I left I prepared myself for a confrontation with a "negative" manager. I practiced my speech, prepared myself to be calm yet ready to "sing out" for my rights in an assertive way....

So off I went to the store, and asked to speak with the manager. I told her my story, and before I could even finish, she offered me a store credit or a new pair of shoes. At first I didn't quite understand her because I was focused on my arguments. I asked her to repeat herself, just to be sure that I heard her correctly. I left the store more relaxed, and with a new pair of shoes. And also with the realization that no one will "attack" me for "singing out" for my rights.

Though I have learned from my mother-in-law the art of demanding one's rights as a customer, and I am learning to not be afraid of doing so, I still feel a little nervous "singing out". Why? because I grew up in a society where we did not "sing out".

Veveritele ...frumoase???

Nu imi plac veveritele!!!

Si eu am fost la Buzias. Si eu am ciocanit nucile unele de altele ca veveritele sa vina la mine. Si ma bucuram de fiecare data cand veneau si ziceam ca sunt dragute. Si imi placea sa merg vara, cand caldurile erau mari, la Buzias sa ma relaxez si sa vad veveritele. Si le strigam pe "numele" (de cod) Mariana. Pe toate le cheama Mariana!! Ce nebunie.

Nu stiu de ce imi placeau atunci si nu imi mai plac acum. Poate pentru ca eram mica si toti imi spuneau ce frumoase sunt [veveritele]. Si "trebuia" sa le vad frumoase, micute si dragute. Si am crezut ca sunt frumoase. Uite cum te "prostesc" adultii si profita de [ne]cunostinta ta.

Yec! Azi le vad zilnic. Pe strada, prin copaci, pe gardul din curte, in curte.... Sunt multe! Si de cate ori le vad, le vad tot mai urate.

Sunt niste sobolani cu coada stufoasa. Pe bune!!

Stiu, o sa ziceti ca exagerez!! Sau nu.

PS: Cand aveti ocazia, uitati-va atent la ele (in special din fata) cu mintea de adult, neinfluentati de perceptia altora desigur. Ce vedeti?

Do you have change?

Is it funny when you act like a child when you are an adult!? It happened to me and believe me it was very embarrassing at the time but is a funny story now.

Being in a new country I have had to learn to deal with a new type money. It sounds like no big deal, but it definitely was a big big deal for me.

In the beginning I asked my husband to teach me all about the coins. Though I learned them at that time, I didn't have the chance to use this new knowledge because most of the time we used credit cards.

7 months after my first "coin" lesson I went shopping. I purchased something for $4.65 and so I gave to the cashier a $10 bill. The cashier saw that my wallet was full of coins so she asked me to give her 65 cents. I took a big breath and looked at my palm filled with coins. I realized I had forgotten the value of the coins. I was so embarrassed when I told to the cashier to help herself from my palm. I left the store embarrassed, frustrated and without any excuse for my stupidity.

Now, a year later, I don't ask anyone to help themselves, but I still pause, needing a little time to think which coin is worth how much.

Letting go

In the last year I moved 3 times. I already know how to pack, to fold, to unpack....Now, knocking at the door, is yet another move, but hopefully this will be the last one for a few years.

Have you ever been in love with a city?

What I am talking about?....My feeling that I have become a Washingtonian and I cannot leave it. It is craziness, isn't it? Is it possessiveness for a city? I thought that I "treated" this need to possess somethings! :(

Look at me. The other day I spent hours trying to renew my Washington ID card. When I know that I'm moving to another state.....so why insist on having a Washington ID? Why let myself get frustrated with all the hassles (sitting in line for nearly 3 hours, 2 days in a row)? Just because I want to say that I am from Washington DC!

But because renewing the ID didn't work I gave up "fighting" with the bureaucrats.

So, I am looking to the future in a better light. A new house, making new friends, finding new things to do, discovering new stores......I am starting to really like the idea and am excited about having a "suburban" family life.

Virginia, here I come.

I am from Arlington, Virginia - just 10 minutes to Washington DC;)

PS: The welcome sign in Virginia is the pineapple. Some people have this pineapple on their drapes, or at their front door. Don't worry, not in my house ;)

Fellowship

Whether to be a bystander or a person who takes action?

Theoretically, a bystander is an individual who is less likely to offer help in an emergency situation. The greater of number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help.

I have a good example of this.

I was riding the metro the other afternoon when a guy stood up from his seat, and moved towards a young blond woman. She was sitting on the outside seat. The guy approached her, and asked her if she would move over. She did. So he took the seat and started to talk to her. Unfortunately I couldn't hear what he was saying to her or how she dealt with him. But it was obvious to all that she was not interested in what he had to say, and she was distressed. Her face was red and she was uncomfortable in the situation.

Everybody in the metro knew what was going on, but nobody interfered. We (Jonathan and me) were wondering why she did not move seats, or why she did not tell him to move. I thought that if I was in her shoes I would just tell him that I am not interested in having a conversation with anyone. I was making up scenarious instead of doing something to help her.

We passed two stops and then, in an instant, another young woman got up from her seat, walked over to the blond, and started to talk with her as if they were friends, acting surprised to see her and speaking to her in a very loud voice...like they had not seen each other in a long, long time. She then asked the guy, very politely, to move and let her sit near her "friend".

For just a moment I almost believed that the two girls knew each other. She just took action and helped the blond girl. I admired this girl a lot!

"Where all think alike, no one thinks very much" Walter Lippman